Thursday, July 15, 2010

it's almost biblical

Remember “Mulan?” Remember that adorable little lucky cricket? Remember looking at an actual cricket and thinking, “man, that guy’s cute!” No, you don’t. Because they’re gross. And Disney lies.


Texas has a serious problem. It is completely overrun with giant crickets. And apparently, it’s not the first time. (http://www.usatoday.com/weather/news/2007-07-26-cricket-invasion_N.htm.) Following Tropical Storm Alex (he turned out to be too wimpy to qualify for Hurricane status), the ground in Texas is now much softer this summer, attracting thousands of crickets to lay their eggs early and pester the world. If only they would stay outside, they might be more bearable. I thought it was charming the first day I walked into work and was serenaded by an orchestra of crickets all morning. Then I saw one run by my desk and under the chair right next to me. Sick. The charm was gone. Then I began to realize (how had I missed it before??) that dead crickets littered every corner of the building. Live ones huddled in door jambs. Their song echoed in the bathrooms. Visions of Jiminy Cricket in his dapper vest and top hat vanished. It only got worse after that, as my foot narrowly avoided being scuttled over at Whataburger and the stench of their piled carcasses assaulted me outside the movie theater. I dread the day that I lose focus while making my way across a parking lot-turned-obstacle coarse and accidentally crunch one underfoot. That will not be a good day.

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