Tuesday, July 27, 2010

all I want is a little work at work

7:30 I hit snooze on my alarm clock. 7:35 I hit snooze on my alarm clock. 7:40 I seriously consider hitting snooze on my alarm clock, but eventually talk myself into getting out of bed. 8:58 I arrive at work to the sound of crickets—inside, of course. 9:07 I have already started up my computer and read through all of the emails sent since the end of the day yesterday, three times each. 9:07 I have run out of things to do. 9:08 I open up my firefox browser to the NewTek webpage and stare at it for a while, scrolling up and down every few seconds, trying to look busy. 9:11 I read through every single one of my (153) junk emails. 9:21 I think about the eternity between me and lunch while staring blankly at the computer screen. 9:22 I organize the six windows on my desktop so that they overlap each other in a seemingly random and naturally esthetic way. 9:24 I pull up My Documents and open up a document or two, switching between them and scrolling up and down as if they hold something of interest to me. 9:26 I take a long drink from my water bottle. 9:26 and a half. Seriously‽

I really enjoy editing. If only I could do it more often. In my capacity as editing intern. But instead, I have spent hours on the Chicago Manual of Style website, learned a lot of new words, and written a lot of non-NewTek and wholly Sharlie-related things. Never before has eight hours seemed so long than when I have to spend about five and a half of them desperately trying to look busy. For you see, I am positioned in my office so that at least four people (and every person that walks into our department) have a perfect view of my computer screen from their desks. That’s really not conducive to my time wasting efforts. So, in order to look like I am working on something important, I will impart some of my newly acquired knowledge to you.

Have you ever wondered why we put the period inside quotation marks at the end of a quote (for example, “sushi makes me puke.”)? …Or am I the only one that wonders these things? Well, back in the first days of the printing press, the period and the comma were the smallest bits of raised metal, putting them in danger of being broken or bent when used. And if they were put outside the quotation mark (for example, “sushi makes me puke”.) they would most certainly break. Thus, they have been placed safely within the ending quotation marks. And that’s the reason we do it today. Fascinating, huh? Good conversation material for a party.

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